What the What?

Watching mommy put styling stuff in her hair,
Aidan: Mommy, your hair's getting all gunky.

Talking about his day at school,
Daddy: What did you do at school today?
Aidan: I played with Gustavo and only Gustavo. I did nothing else.
Later,
Mommy: What did you do in school today?
Aidan: I did nothing.

Playing hide and seek,
Aidan: (hiding) Mommy, where's your sweetie (meaning him)?

Playing hide and seek with Simon,
Aidan: Simon is hiding, we have to go seek him.

Holding up mommy's bra,
Aidan: Look mommy I have giant nipples. I have big rocks like you.

We're babysitting a friend's dog for the next 10 days. Cisco is a really sweet and smart Australian Shepard. Aidan loves playing with him. Here are a few of his best observations,

After Cisco licked him,
Aidan: Cisco was so hungry, he thought that I was a lollipop!

Aidan chasing Cisco,
Aidan: I'm very glad Cisco came to visit, but he's getting away!

Aidan waking up at 6:30 AM (early for him),
Aidan: (Still groggy) Where's Cisco Bisco?

Aidan: Mommy, my poo poo is coming out.
Mommy: Quick, lets go to the potty.
Aidan: No, I pushed it back in.
Mommy: Come on lets go.
Mommy picks up Aidan and they rush to the toilet. They sit and wait for action. There is a little, but Mommy knows there's more.
Aidan: (pointing at the poo poo) See there it is. I only wanted to make one. Just one poo poo.
Mommy: There's more honey. Let's get it all out.
Aidan: (making deals) No, only one. Just one poo poo mommy. That's it.
Mommy can't stop laughing, but is holding firm.
Aidan completes his deposit and there are high-5's all around!

Aidan: Mommy, could you tickle me in my tickle spot (behind the ears.)
Tickling ensues. Aidan then sticks his butt in the air,
Aidan: Mommy, this is my butt.
Mommy: What do you want me to do about it?
Aidan: I want you to cover it up, with underwear.
Underwear is applied and Aidan mumbles something,
Mommy: What?
Aidan: I didn't want to say that.
Mommy: What did you want to say?
Aidan: I wanted to say I love you. Mommy, I love you.

Aidan: I was making pizza at school today.
Mommy: What was it like?
Aidan: It was all pizza y (pizza E) and cheesey.

After putting his hands in the fish tank,
Aidan: Look at me, I got all fishy!

Putting on a party hat,
Aidan: It still fits perfectly!

Talking about Nibbler from Futurama,
Mommy: He fell off Leela's lap.
Aidan: He got a bonkers on his top eye.

Aidan's playing with a can of Lysol.
Mommy: (Taking the can away) That's enough Aidan.
Aidan: (Grabbing the can back) No!
Mommy: Hey, Who's the mommy?
Aidan: You (hands back the can). I'm sorry I took it.

Daddy: Aidan, I have to stop by the office.
Aidan: But, I want to go home
Daddy: Daddy needs to go to the office really really quick.
Aidan: Well Aidan needs to go home really really quick.

With logic like that, who can argue.

Aidan "riffing" on the Chuck e Cheese slogan,
Aidan: Where a lover can be a lover! Mommy, I'm a lover.
Mommy: You're a sweeter!
Aidan: No, you're my sweetie.
Mommy: You're my sweetie too.
Aidan: Yeah, we're each other's sweeties.

Daddy sits in the office while Aidan plays outside the door,
Aidan: I wonder if this will work. Open Sesame!
Daddy pulls the door open.
Aidan: It worked!
Aidan then goes to the fish tank,
Aidan: Open Sesame! Hm, I guess it doesn't work on glass.
Daddy: Well, you don't want to open sesame the fish tank.
Aidan: Yeah, I would get all wet and water would get in my eyes.

Aidan and mommy are holding hands as they chasse around the living room,
Mommy: I'm tired.
Aidan: Let's do that again!
Mommy: Do what?
Aidan: Ballet.

Aidan spills his orange juice,
Aidan: Aw Man!



...they can't all be winners

Aidan: Mommy, I want to play with this crab.
Mommy: OK, ask daddy. I'm sure he can incorporate the crab into your game.
Aidan: Daddy, can you incorporate the crab?

Watching his lunch cook in the microwave,
Aidan: Look, my cold pocket is transforming into a hot pocket!

Trying to get a baba (sippy cup) that works to his specifications,
Aidan: This baba is too wonky.
Mommy tries to fix it, but Aidan gives it back,
Aidan: I don't think this is a good baba.

Aidan: Stop it!
Mommy: What?
Aidan: I said stop it to daddy.
Mommy: What's he doing?
Aidan: He's talking to me again!

Aidan pretending to be a ghost,
Aidan: Ooooooooooooooooooooo.
Mommy: (Acting too convincingly scared) Oh no! Don't get me!
Aidan: (Takes ghost costume off and puts on vest) I'm not a ghost, I'm a street rat. I'm your friend. Come on, love me.

Playing Superheroes,
Victim (daddy): Help! I lost my money!
Golden Boy: (Hands on hips) Young man, where are your coins?

Calling to mommy in the kitchen,
Aidan: Little mommy, I love you!

Requesting a sippy cup,
Mommy: How do you want it?
Aidan: I want it juicy.

Getting the ginormous (econo size) apple juice out of the refrigerator,
Aidan: Wow look at this jumbo!
Mommy: It's big isn't it.
Aidan: It's a big jumbo.

Playing with his Spongebob Squarepants toy,
Aidan: His name is Swiss Cheese Squarepants.

Watching basketball with mommy (GO LAKERS!),
Aidan: (When the Lakers have the ball) Go Babies!
Aidan: (When the Lakers miss a shot) Dang it (raises fist in air.)

Aidan and mommy are a crime fighting duo. Brush Aidan's face with bronzer and paint mommy's face with pink cheek stain and you've got Golden Boy and Pink Face. You can find them wherever evil is afoot. Their arch nemesis is Plastic Bag Man (daddy.) He is easily defeated by removing his plastic bag (that's where all his power lies.) While being superheroes Aidan was heard to say,

To Plastic Bag Man,
"Get out of our lair!"
"I defeated you!"

After fighting crime,
"Superheroes away!"

Basking in the praise of those we save,
Victim: How can I ever thank you superheroes?
Pink Face: Just pay it forward .
Golden Boy: Yeah, pay it forward.

The Superhero Oath,
Aidan: Golden Boy!
Mommy: Pink Face!
Both: UNITE!

Play time can be very elaborate.

We were playing pirates and Aidan decided that he was a pirate with a pegleg. This is how he achieved it:




That sweet thing managed to play like this for a while. And that thing he's standing on is the plank of course.

On his daddy's singing,
Aidan: I don't pay you Grunka Lunkas to sing, you just used up your bathroom break.

Admittedly mommy is a shill for Aidan. They like to do scenes as evidenced below,
Mommy: That's impossible.
Aidan: (This usually comes out garbled, but he gets most of the words out.) Nothing is impossible! I know how the engines work now. It came to me in a dream. The engines don't move the ship. They move the universe around the ship.
Mommy: That's a complete load.
Aidan: Nothing is a complete load! Not if you can imagine it. That's what being a scientist is all about.

I guess we indoctrinated him at 16 months. Look how excited he is.

Looking at my wedding pictures,
Aidan: Mommy, that's when you were a princess.

Waking up on a cold Tuesday morning,
Aidan: Mommy, will you make me a papoose?
Meaning, will I bundle him in a blanket and make him cozy.

Drinking apple juice,
Aidan: It's good flavor you know. It's good and delicious.

Singing a song for mom and dad,
Daddy: He's got good stage presence.
Aidan: Alright alright. I'll get you stage presents.
He brings daddy and mommy coins from his treasure box.

Aidan: I'm running out of energy.
Mommy: What will we do?
Aidan: My french toast will give me energy.

Aidan spitting something out of his mouth,
Mommy: What did you get in your mouth?
Aidan: Flavor......and crumbs.

Inviting mommy to play with him and daddy,
Aidan: Mommy, come join us!

Taking his cough syrup this morning?
Aidan: That's grape.
Mommy: What do you think?
Aidan: It's good. It's not terrible!

Seeing an orange cat on TV:
Aidan: Ah Morty!
Karen: Does that cat look like Morty?
Aidan: Yeah. Morty lives in Simon's house.

A cartoon comes back from commercial.
Aidan: Hey, that stupid dog came back.
The cartoon opens with a shot of earth,
Aidan: That's earth. The planet we live on.

Aidan: Daddy, I'm scratching your face.
Daddy: Why?
Aidan: No, now I'm scratching your belly. (Scratches daddy's belly). Your belly has a lot of itches on it.

Aidan's bobbing his head up and down,
Mommy: What are you doing?
Aidan: (Still bobbing) Rockin.'